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out of the mouths of babes*:
Oct. 11th, 2010 12:34 pm"brown bread and jam, isn't that distasteful?"
* and by babes i mean monika ;)
* and by babes i mean monika ;)
yesterdays text-fun
Aug. 26th, 2009 11:35 amwhilst visiting kai at the fishing lake on hampstead heath i received a text from a number unknown to me. it read:
so, naturally i replied to this inflammatory message. this is what i sent:
they soon wrote back.
so i sent this reply
a little later i received confirmation that the unknown texter did possess a sense of humour.
flip flap
I got your message i an sure we can work something out someday. Just when your a better person and go back to being a nice person. My friends do allot for me your expect allot. I will believe it when I see itso, naturally i replied to this inflammatory message. this is what i sent:
Fuck you! Who are you to say your friends are better than me? If you want to start playing those sort of games then you'd better go back to school. Gobshitethey soon wrote back.
I don't even know why i bothered responding you cannot ever be friends with me I have far much more to give a mate now i am on my feet you and your life would only bring me down. Thanks for reminding me what a bad person you really are.so i sent this reply
Bad person? You wouldn't even make a good dog! God you make me sick. Who are you anyway?a little later i received confirmation that the unknown texter did possess a sense of humour.
Wrong number ha ha xflip flap
bill bailey
Oct. 6th, 2007 12:35 amdespite the earlier setbacks, tonight's comedy offering was pretty damned sweet.
after arriving late [my fault] at the wrong tube station [my fault] we got a taxi to hammersmith in good time to grab a place right at the front of the queue.
we sat down, close enough to the stage to hear bill's asthmatic wheezing and to watch each and every glistening bead of sweat that formed on his forehead from inception to brow wiping demise.
but, just before the start of the show, some idiot dropped their phone underneath the tiered seating.
as the show was being recorded, they went and told the usher who was evidently making sure no one attempted to storm the stage and pay impromptu homage to the comedic maestro we were there to see.
so, anyway despite the potential havoc of having an unanswerable phone ringing during the show, bill strolls on stage and begins his show. 5 minutes in, announces that some numpty had dropped their phone under the seats and then asked them to shout out the number so he could call it.
they did, he did... sadly, the phone was on silent.
not particularly funny or noteworthy, i know. but, i do now have bill bailey's number.
other highlights included the assortment of bizarre heckles1 the best of which was person who gave bill a pint of lager at the start of the show repeatedly insisting that he consumed the beverage.
the tube ride home was interesting, i got befriended by some muppet that insisted on talking shit at me until he got off the train.
1. ie. "nice bush" ; "i'm a vet, i'll have a look at your foot"
after arriving late [my fault] at the wrong tube station [my fault] we got a taxi to hammersmith in good time to grab a place right at the front of the queue.
we sat down, close enough to the stage to hear bill's asthmatic wheezing and to watch each and every glistening bead of sweat that formed on his forehead from inception to brow wiping demise.
but, just before the start of the show, some idiot dropped their phone underneath the tiered seating.
as the show was being recorded, they went and told the usher who was evidently making sure no one attempted to storm the stage and pay impromptu homage to the comedic maestro we were there to see.
so, anyway despite the potential havoc of having an unanswerable phone ringing during the show, bill strolls on stage and begins his show. 5 minutes in, announces that some numpty had dropped their phone under the seats and then asked them to shout out the number so he could call it.
they did, he did... sadly, the phone was on silent.
not particularly funny or noteworthy, i know. but, i do now have bill bailey's number.
other highlights included the assortment of bizarre heckles1 the best of which was person who gave bill a pint of lager at the start of the show repeatedly insisting that he consumed the beverage.
the tube ride home was interesting, i got befriended by some muppet that insisted on talking shit at me until he got off the train.
1. ie. "nice bush" ; "i'm a vet, i'll have a look at your foot"
literary virility
Sep. 7th, 2007 08:04 amlast night, after a most delicious dinner, the inimitable mr de bie told an anecdote so potent in its humour that it made ally vomit after he'd uttered just four words!
the man is truly a legend.
the man is truly a legend.
