thoughts

[daf]

is it actually possible to have a truly platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex who you find attractive, or does genetic imperative render our best intentions ultimately unrealistic?

Comments

[miss-soap.livejournal.com]

Presumably you mean 'sexually attractive'? I find all of my friends attractive otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them in the first place, but don't necessarily fancy all of them. I believe physical attraction forms part of the basis of all relationships [extra-familial, obv.] to some degree.

But yes, I think it's possible to have an entirely platonic relationship with someone you find physically attractive.

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

yeah, i did mean "sexually attractive"... i was just thinking that the element of physical attraction might mean that whilst it's possible to have a platonic relationship with them, one's advice & actions wouldn't stem from purely platonic motivation.

[miss-soap.livejournal.com]

I think much of the motivations aspect would depend on your own relationship status. If you were attached and committed, then I think your actions would be less ambiguous than if you were single and potentially - even only vaguely - hoping you might be able to get into their pants.

[303factory.livejournal.com]

yes totally, as long as you get the sex out of the way good and early

[http://users.livejournal.com/_alexandra_/]

*snort* haha that's pretty true!

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

reckon you're right there dude :D

did you check out that greg egan book?

[303factory.livejournal.com]

not yet.. iceland wiped me out for cash so I'm waiting to get paid on tuesday then I'll order it online! Along with a new chair and new plates.. (its been a month of domestic accidents)

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

chairs and plates? sounds like someone needs to be more careful in the kitchen ;P

[303factory.livejournal.com]

they were completely unreleated incidents! i didnt throw my chair at the sink

[natbombat.livejournal.com]

Lol. *High five*

[bluehelen.livejournal.com]

What miss_soap said.

[mlh4002003.livejournal.com]

NOt in my experience, but then if I am attracted to someone I tend to act on it. Plus I have no problem with casual sex and many girls are terrified of being branded a slut so wont mess around with boys unless they are in a relationship with them.

[untermensch.livejournal.com]

If you use the right drugs on them it doesn't really matter either way?

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

gotta love them dwellems :]

[ninja-badger.livejournal.com]

Yes.
and No

[ninja-badger.livejournal.com]

To clarify.
Are you allowed sex if you canrry on being platonic friends afterwards,a gree it was fun, and get on with your lives without all that relationship stuff?

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

in my experience, very rarely ;)

[ninja-badger.livejournal.com]

hm. in my experience it's possible it's just not particularly easy, and peopel often find after a few quick fucks tehy don;t really liek the person anyway and can't be arsed with teh work.
If the people behind it are actually friends though, or liek each other AS WELL as fancyign each other, it's good.

[sproutymouse.livejournal.com]

Yes

[ninja-badger.livejournal.com]

That's ok then.
I'm sticking with my Yes then.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_alexandra_/]

Yes!

[kitch-kash.livejournal.com]

I thought yes but then it turns out that I was wrong.

[ninja-badger.livejournal.com]

it depends.

It's easy to think you actually liek someone when all your ally want to do is fuck them, and once you have, you are like "oh, hang on - you are fit but dull"

On teh other hand you can genuinely liek people, think they ar fit, fuck them and still have fun afterwards*.

*nb: "Afterwards" is somme time between 20 minutes and 37.3 years.

*goes back to packing*

[mark13.livejournal.com]

Yeah it is. Finding them attractive just adds another facet to the interaction between you.

Although it does depend on your need for ultimate gratification - if not having something you want will drive you insane eventually, it won't work.

[xerode.livejournal.com]

Re: twitter

None taken. I didn't realise my WordPress/LiveJournal crossposter would also post from my Twitter/WordPress crossposter. Oh the joys of multiple plug-ins relying on (and dispatching) the same non-unique application calls. I've had a quick tinker and it should be fixed (i.e. not crossposting Twitter to LJ) but if you see it again, give me a shout.

Re: this post

Not sure at all. Might have more to say later ;)

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

cheers bud. the twittering is gone, and should it rear its head again i'll be sure to let you know :]

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Ummm. Part of me says "of course" because I have that (both with people I have and have not slept with). Plus if I'm in a happy relationship then external naughtyness is off the cards entirely.

BUT, but but but- IF I'm single and I find someone sexually attractive would I think (not ness act upon in any way) about having sex with them? Course I would. So is that platonic?

JmC
I have an icon for this and everything

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

dude, is there anything you don't have an lj icon for?

[flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com]

Very few things!

JmC
My "wholesome" icons are somewhat sparse

[mlh4002003.livejournal.com]

Why would you WANT a platonic relationship if you find someone attractive? Also, I have ended friendships when I have realised the guy just wants to get i my pants as I feel its cruel to lead them on if I know it will never happen.

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

because people have different agendas.

[mlh4002003.livejournal.com]

True. I'm quite honest though and also get guilty if I know someone wants more than I can give.

[303factory.livejournal.com]

people can be hot but dumb.. then you want to keep it platonic!

[jonnytuna.livejournal.com]

I always felt sorry for Plato. Having his name used for describing a non sexual relationship.
I'm sure he must have fancied a few women occasionally

[crazymeandave.livejournal.com]

...and men too, no doubt.

still, the silly bugger should have thought about that before writing symposium and phaedrus :P

[libee.livejournal.com]

Yup. Most of my friends are guys and I've only slept with about 60% of them. *grin*

[p0is0n-girl.livejournal.com]

You dont have any friends ;p

[libee.livejournal.com]

What are you then? A lamb chop?

[lucifiction.livejournal.com]

Yup.

[ahura-mazda.livejournal.com]

No!

[dakari-mane.livejournal.com]

You can. Though occasionally things will go wrong & someone gets hurt.

[haltedlogic.livejournal.com]

Yes but you will at one point or another feel horribly hurt/ jealous/ angry. If it's worth that then go for it.

[gommog.livejournal.com]

I'd say yes but it kinda depends if they're fuck them attractive or have babies with them attractive?

[redlaurie.livejournal.com]

Yes- you just kind of acknowledge it and move on. If the concept of friendship is sacred then you just don't fuck with it.