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a party to remember...
so, work has me phoning charities recruiting CFOs and whatnot for a focus group being run by another charitable organisation...
whilst on hold to the good people at ASPIRE, rather than being subjected to a 120dB assault of greensleeves, as is, i believe, mandatory from such organisations, i got to listen to coldplay's "clocks" whilst a recorded message about the charity's services was played over the top of it.
anyways, and i probably shouldn't be sharing this with people, i found one part of their message so funny i that had to hang up & choke down my laughter so as not to get in to any trouble
"what made me laugh?" i hear you thinking...
this seemingly innocuous sentence conjured up images in my head of children mentally scarred for life, paralytically phobic of wheelchairs or armbands; unable to use public transport for fear of encountering one of the "wheeled monsters" after having been subjected by mum and dad to a birthday party at cripple central.
...ok, so i'm a bad person and i'm going to hell, but if any of you so much as chuckled at that then you're coming along with me.
whilst on hold to the good people at ASPIRE, rather than being subjected to a 120dB assault of greensleeves, as is, i believe, mandatory from such organisations, i got to listen to coldplay's "clocks" whilst a recorded message about the charity's services was played over the top of it.
anyways, and i probably shouldn't be sharing this with people, i found one part of their message so funny i that had to hang up & choke down my laughter so as not to get in to any trouble
"what made me laugh?" i hear you thinking...
"give you child a birthday to remember with a party at ASPIRE in the pool or sports hall"
this seemingly innocuous sentence conjured up images in my head of children mentally scarred for life, paralytically phobic of wheelchairs or armbands; unable to use public transport for fear of encountering one of the "wheeled monsters" after having been subjected by mum and dad to a birthday party at cripple central.
...ok, so i'm a bad person and i'm going to hell, but if any of you so much as chuckled at that then you're coming along with me.
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Every lesson was a nightmare as I tried to maintain a serious, sober expression as somewhere on the other side of the field a handicapped kid inevitably managed to fall out of his stirrups, and slowly slide down under the horse, whilst making stricken noises and clapping.
I figure I set my course for hell at a very early age.
Oh, and speaking of hold music, I remember phoning British Gas once, only to hear 'Crazy' by Gnarls Barkley, containing the highly appropriate words "Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are? Ha ha ha bless your soul, you really think you're in control".
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was in the middle of a practical when i read it - explaining why i was laughing was a wee bit problematic
still, serves me right for mocking the afflicted
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Oh, one other thing I remember - all of us able-bodied types had to bite our lips and turn puce trying not to laugh when one of the handicapped kids fell off.
When one of us fell off, however, they all laughed like drains.
Suppose if life's dealt you a shit hand, at least you get to laugh at absolutely anyone without someone PC being able to tell you to shut up.
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