daf: (disco stu)
today i did some computer hacking type stuffs as a favour for a friend... the ironic nature of which is too delicious not to share.

the act of which can be summed up in five wonderful words

i scammed internets from nigerians


and the significance of the subject [in case your curiosity was piqued].... 2011 x 2011 x 2011 </delight>
daf: (quotes)
ADDRESS: Marsham Street 2. SW1P 4DF. London. United Kingdom
Email: interpolagent@yahoo.cn

I am Mr Ronald K. Noble, The Interpol Director; After proper investigations, we discovered that your impending payment that have been withheld by imposters, claiming to be Joseph Roland Djotie, Professor Charles Soludo (Governor of the Central bank of Nigeria), Mr. Patrick Aziza, Keneth Ogini, RICK EDO WESTERN UNION OFFICE BENIN REPUBLIC Joel Mathew FedEx Benin, Mr. Frank Nweke, None existing officials of the Oceanic Bank of Nigeria and Zenith Bank, UK winning Lottery, Andy Lear of Hsbc bank, Coca-Cola winning lottery and among a list of others is now under our custody with the help of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Local Police Force.

Investigations revealed that you have spent a lot on your personal earned money just to conclude the successful transfer of your funds to your nominated bank account by obtaining transfer documents as requested by the imposters, costing you a lot of money but all to no avail.

The Interpol had to send some financial crime investigators from our head quarters in United Kingdom to Africa in other to carry out proper investigation, after receiving series of other reports similar to yours as you are not the only person awaiting the legal transfer of funds from Africa. The Interpol has given authority to the International Monetary Funds (IMF) to assist the Federal Ministry of Finance and all the organization involved; such as the Central Bank, Zenith Bank, and Legit lottery organizations to immediately commence with the compensation of all the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of their funds.

With the help of some of the best Internet investigators attached to the FBI, we traced your information from the Internet as one of the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of his funds. I am pleased to inform you that a meeting was held as regards the best way to carry out with the compensation exercise for transparency and most especially to avoid re-occurrence of the delay in getting your funds and the high cost of procuring transfer documents and came to a final conclusion as all head of organizations involved was duly represented.

After the meeting conclusion, a sum of $6.5Million United States Dollars was approved for release to you, and since alot of this corruption has been coming from Africa and London, we have decided to move the compensation payment office to Malaysia, meanwhile you will be receiving your funds from Malaysia. The funds was approved to be issued to you as a ATM MasterCard, because we have calculated the stress in allowing you to claim the funds by BANK TO BANK WIRE TRANSFER, so instead of the bank transferring the funds to your account direct, we have advised the bank to open an ATM account for you and you will be issued a ATM MasterCard for the withdrawal of your funds daily from any nearest ATM Machine to you.

The ATM account has been credited with the approved Six Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars, And your daily withdrawal with the ATM MasterCard from any ATM Machine is $25,000.00USD per day but you can only withdraw $1000 per transaction but you have the privilege to make withdrawal twenty five times a day which make it equivalent of $25,000USD per day, the daily withdrawal has been programmed.The ATM MasterCard has been packaged to be delivered to your door step via express courier delivery service.

Contact Agent Hilary M. Kieffer {Our Interpol ATM Rep.} at the ATM PAYMENT CENTER and reconfirm your delivery information as stated below and your security code with five digit (88808) number has to be submitted alongside with your delivery information for security reasons.

==========CONTACT INFORMATION===========
AGENT NAME: Mr. Hilary M. Kieffer
EMAIL: interpolagent@yahoo.cn
==========CONTACT INFORMATION===========

We also be advise that you have to stop further communications with these imposters and forward any correspondence / proposal you receive from them to Agent Hilary M. Kieffer in other for the FBI to bring justice to those still at large.

Looking forward to hear from you as soon as you receive this message.

Best Regards,
Mr Ronald K. Noble
From United Kingdom Interpol Headquaters

sorry for the lengthy post, but whoever wrote this is clearly a genius!
daf: (Default)
as most of you are probably aware, i don't play the facebook game, but i would be very appreciative if some of you lot could send out some mass invites to gravity...

i'm celebrating my 30th there and would really like it if my friends were there to help mark the occasion.
daf: (disco stu)
G R A V I T Y # 3

as i'm sure most of you are aware by now, i'm turning 30 at the end of this month.
i plan to mourn celebrate at gravity [on the friday the 3rd of april]...

with the exception of tim & claudia1, i expect you all to be there.
not just because it's my 30th you understand, but because the night is fully awesome!

for those of you on the book of face, there is now an event page... please feel free to tell all your friends.

1: a 60th birthday trumps a 30th
daf: (Default)
BRITAIN is 'well and truly, Geordie-lass-on-her-hen-night fucked' if people can no longer afford to eat at Greggs, financial analysts warned last night.

If people can no longer afford a Greggs slice then what the fuck are they eating?

Profits have plummeted at the high street baker due to a combination of falling demand and a sharp increase in the cost of whatever it is they put in their pasties.

Tom Logan, meat and pastry analyst at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "We've always used Greggs as a sort of base line for absolute poverty.

"At the moment things do seem to be hurtling downhill like Frank Spencer on a roller skate. If people can't afford Greggs, then I would say we're about six to nine months away from what I like to call 'Mad Max 2'."

But Greggs insisted it will work hard to retain its customer base by finding new and exciting animals to mince and, if necessary, installing boxing rings at the back of their larger stores.

A spokesman said: "We'll toss in a ham and cheese slice, get two unwed mothers to scrap for it and charge a fiver at the door.

"We'll also take a 10% commission from the local bookie. Our customers love nothing more than betting on a skank fight."

Meanwhile Sainsbury's has admitted the profit plunge at Greggs 'does not bode well' for its Taste The Difference range.

A spokesman added: "We may as well try shifting brithday cakes made of raw tripe with Cherie Blair's face on them."

yoinked from the daily mash


Jun. 12th, 2008 09:18 pm
daf: (disco stu)
wow! i'm on the front page of b3ta

sweet :)
daf: (quotes)
RIP stage6
daf: (quotes)
"I'm writing this message today to inform you that we plan to shut down Stage6 on February 28, 2008. Upload functionality has already been turned off, and you'll be able to view and download videos until Thursday."

it's a sad sad day for anyone who's come to enjoy the miracle that was stage6 or joox.
daf: (Default)

...your picture of Stalin riding a Year3 Limited Edition Starflower inside a German concentration camp was both upsetting and historically inaccurate

thanks [livejournal.com profile] xerode... that link made my day
daf: (quotes)
great, now i can't find my clock


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