daf: (cmd)

from: Microsoft International Program <noreply@microsoft-uk.com>
reply-to: admin-dept@28mp.com
date: Mon, Dec 10, 2012 at 10:05 AM
subject: Serial Numbers: MC/2010/NLP46560

145-157, ST JOHN STREET,
LONDON, EC1V 4PY United Kingdom
It is obvious that this notification will come to you as a surprise but please find time to read it carefully as we congratulate you over your success in the following official publication of results of the E-mail electronic online Sweepstakes organized by Microsoft, in conjunction with the foundation for the promotion of software products, (F.S.P) held this 2012,in London UK.
Where in your email address emerged as one of the online Winning emails in the 2nd category and therefore attracted a cash award of 950.000.00 (Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand pounds sterling) Our winners are arranged into four categories with different winning prizes accordingly in each category.
They are arranged in this format below:
These are your identification numbers:MCS-26799/097
1st. 2    1,000,000.00 pounds each
2nd. 8      950.000.00 pounds each
3rd. 13     750,000.00 pounds each
4th. 27     470,000.00 pounds each
We write to officially notify you of this award and to advise you to contact the processing office immediately upon receipt of this message for more information concerning the verification, processing and eventual payment of the above prize to you.
It is important to note that your award information was released with the following particulars attached to it.
(1) Award numbers: NLP/56/7766
(2) Email ticket numbers: MSLP-130832
(3) Batch numbers: MC10/834/8PDH
(4) The file reference numbers: UK/5564/06/07/MICS
{5} Serial Numbers: MC/2010/NLP46560
For verification purpose be sure to include:
(1) Your contact address.
(2) Your Tel/Fax numbers.
(3) Your Nationality/Country.
(4) Your Full Name.
(5) Occupation / Age.
(6) How Do You Feel as A Winner?
(7) Ever Won an Online Lottery?
Mode of Prize Remittance
(1)Cash Pick-Up (You coming Down to Uk Personally to Pick Your Price).
(2)Courier Delivery Of your Certified Winning Cheque Name and other
Winning Documents safely to you.
To file for your claim, Please contact your Validating Officer for VALIDATION of your winning within Twenty-nine working days of this winning notification. Winnings that are not validated within Twenty-nine working days of winning notification are termed void and invalid. You are required to mention the above particulars of your award in every correspondence to enable the Agent validate your winning.
Andy Murray
The Microsoft Internet E-mail lottery Awards is sponsored by our CEO/Chairman, Bill Gates and a consortium of software promotion companies.
The Intel Group, Toshiba, Dell Computers and other International Companies.
The Microsoft internet E-mail draw is held periodically and is organized to encourage the use of the Internet and promote computer literacy worldwide.
Once again on behalf of all our staff we say CONGRATULATIONS!
NOTE: Do not tell people about your Price Award until your money is successfully handed over to you to avoid disqualification that may arise from double claim.
You may also receive similar e-mails from people portraying to be other Organizations or Microsoft Corporation. This is solely to collect your personal information from you and lay claim over your notification letter that was sent to you, Kindly forward a copy to us and delete it from your mail box and give no further correspondence to such person or body.
Microsoft shall not be held responsible for any loss of fund arising from the above mentioned.
daf: (quotes)
ADDRESS: Marsham Street 2. SW1P 4DF. London. United Kingdom
Email: interpolagent@yahoo.cn

I am Mr Ronald K. Noble, The Interpol Director; After proper investigations, we discovered that your impending payment that have been withheld by imposters, claiming to be Joseph Roland Djotie, Professor Charles Soludo (Governor of the Central bank of Nigeria), Mr. Patrick Aziza, Keneth Ogini, RICK EDO WESTERN UNION OFFICE BENIN REPUBLIC Joel Mathew FedEx Benin, Mr. Frank Nweke, None existing officials of the Oceanic Bank of Nigeria and Zenith Bank, UK winning Lottery, Andy Lear of Hsbc bank, Coca-Cola winning lottery and among a list of others is now under our custody with the help of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Local Police Force.

Investigations revealed that you have spent a lot on your personal earned money just to conclude the successful transfer of your funds to your nominated bank account by obtaining transfer documents as requested by the imposters, costing you a lot of money but all to no avail.

The Interpol had to send some financial crime investigators from our head quarters in United Kingdom to Africa in other to carry out proper investigation, after receiving series of other reports similar to yours as you are not the only person awaiting the legal transfer of funds from Africa. The Interpol has given authority to the International Monetary Funds (IMF) to assist the Federal Ministry of Finance and all the organization involved; such as the Central Bank, Zenith Bank, and Legit lottery organizations to immediately commence with the compensation of all the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of their funds.

With the help of some of the best Internet investigators attached to the FBI, we traced your information from the Internet as one of the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of his funds. I am pleased to inform you that a meeting was held as regards the best way to carry out with the compensation exercise for transparency and most especially to avoid re-occurrence of the delay in getting your funds and the high cost of procuring transfer documents and came to a final conclusion as all head of organizations involved was duly represented.

After the meeting conclusion, a sum of $6.5Million United States Dollars was approved for release to you, and since alot of this corruption has been coming from Africa and London, we have decided to move the compensation payment office to Malaysia, meanwhile you will be receiving your funds from Malaysia. The funds was approved to be issued to you as a ATM MasterCard, because we have calculated the stress in allowing you to claim the funds by BANK TO BANK WIRE TRANSFER, so instead of the bank transferring the funds to your account direct, we have advised the bank to open an ATM account for you and you will be issued a ATM MasterCard for the withdrawal of your funds daily from any nearest ATM Machine to you.

The ATM account has been credited with the approved Six Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars, And your daily withdrawal with the ATM MasterCard from any ATM Machine is $25,000.00USD per day but you can only withdraw $1000 per transaction but you have the privilege to make withdrawal twenty five times a day which make it equivalent of $25,000USD per day, the daily withdrawal has been programmed.The ATM MasterCard has been packaged to be delivered to your door step via express courier delivery service.

Contact Agent Hilary M. Kieffer {Our Interpol ATM Rep.} at the ATM PAYMENT CENTER and reconfirm your delivery information as stated below and your security code with five digit (88808) number has to be submitted alongside with your delivery information for security reasons.

==========CONTACT INFORMATION===========
AGENT NAME: Mr. Hilary M. Kieffer
EMAIL: interpolagent@yahoo.cn
==========CONTACT INFORMATION===========

We also be advise that you have to stop further communications with these imposters and forward any correspondence / proposal you receive from them to Agent Hilary M. Kieffer in other for the FBI to bring justice to those still at large.

Looking forward to hear from you as soon as you receive this message.

Best Regards,
Mr Ronald K. Noble
From United Kingdom Interpol Headquaters

sorry for the lengthy post, but whoever wrote this is clearly a genius!
daf: (disco stu)
have been having fun & games 1 with the cunts at Thames water...

i suppose the alarm bells should've started ringing when they told me i was unable to stop my liability for the water bill for the flat when we left because i didn't have an address to which i was moving.

apparently, being homeless thanks to eviction does not preclude you having a postal address! yeah, i found that more than a little strange too.

but, this bureaucratic nonsense aside, my woes with them really began when i called to arrange paying off the bill for invincible towers in instalments... i spent a good 15 minutes on the phone to one of their customer representatives explaining that they could send the correspondence to monika's place but that i was neither moving or living there, nor moving anywhere else.

naively, i thought that that was that and all i had to do was make sure they didn't try and keep the direct debit active once i had paid off the outstanding balance. how foolish of me! on monday, rather than just the £37.73 i was expecting to leave my account, there was an additional payment of £71.25!

when i phoned them i discovered that the extra payment was not them trying to recoup the money owed a little quicker, but the first payment for the water bill for monika's address! after an hour or so on the phone i managed to get that sorted, but the fuckers aren't going to reimburse me straight away... the best they can manage is to pay back the money they took "within ten working days"

and just to rub salt in the wounds they are not prepared to reimburse me for bank charges for not having sufficient funds for the direct debit that i have suffered as a result of their error, the bank apparently will be willing to rescind the charge because the payment was a mistake! and when i tried to ascertain how i was supposed to pay for travel to and from work without any money and how exactly i'm meant to feed myself their response was "i'd can only apologise on behalf of Thames Water"

understandably, i'm fuming and will be writing a very angry letter to their complaints department.

before i put pen to paper, however, i thought i should ask if any of you people happen to know if i can take some kind of legal action against them to recoup bank charges, lost earnings, etc. and also whether it is possible to take action about the unauthorised direct debit & their unacceptably slow repayment?

1: the "games" as i erroneously describe them have not, in fact, been fun at all.
daf: (Default)

it's all i can do not to write to them demanding they print a correction regarding the number of "varieties" manufactured by heinz... it is not, and never has been 57.

... grumble grumble
daf: (ruckus)
we had what i presume was a fire drill at uni yesterday... the first we knew of it was our lecture being interrupted by someone informing us of the evacuation! most of the alarms in the main tower block did not work: i counted two1 audible bells on the 7 floors we descended!

were it not a drill we'd probably have sat there obliviously continuing with the lecture until we burnt to death!

but wait, it gets better, neither the security barriers nor the revolving doors2 [fitted at great expense to the uni] in the main entrance were opened! the resultant bottle neck in the lobby of students and staff took around 15 minutes to clear.

i really aught to have learnt to expect this sort of disorganised incompetence from them by now, but somehow it still came as a shock.

1: there are, iirc, 3 bells per floor

2: fancy ones where the fixed screens can swivel, opening the doors up so that people can exit quickly
daf: (Default)
question in lecture just now

"who here's formatted a windows ntfs drive?"

response from student sitting next to me:

"what's that?"

in film news: Pride and Predator looks set to be realised.... i can't wait :D

yoinked from [livejournal.com profile] ninja_badger
daf: (Default)

it's no wonder bangladesh is one of the poorest nations on earth... the stupid bastards haven't the smarts to fashion even the most rudimentary of hods.
daf: (disco stu)
i've been angry before, sometimes i could even have been described as being very angry...

tonight, however, i am livid; incandescent with rage! furious is not a strong enough word. pissed off doesn't come close to describing the searing wroth pumping coursing through my veins!

in fact, the effort required not to destroy this keyboard in the process of writing this entry is display of will power i wasn't aware i was capable of.

my piece of shit university have given me two coursework assignments for the cisco element of the degree. one is tantalisingly close to containing sufficient information for me to be able to actually do the fucking work.

i say tantalisingly close, what i actually mean is it contains everything i need except the vital information : network addresses, number of subnets, routing protocols & dce/dte information.

the other one contains this line of text "This is a Cisco based module. The course works are available on-line and set externally."

which is not only the vaguest communication i've received from the university of hip hop, it's also fallacious to the point of the ridiculous: There is nothing on the cisco site, the lecturer's page for the module has a pdf named "Coursework," which i'm guessing actually has the information i need, except it's fucking encrypted. and we've not been told the bastard's password, so it serves only to enrage me more. it might as well not be there if we, the students, can't fucking access it!!

how the fuck am i supposed to submit coursework if i don't know what it is i'm supposed to be doing?!!

jesus fucking christ!
daf: (Default)

...your picture of Stalin riding a Year3 Limited Edition Starflower inside a German concentration camp was both upsetting and historically inaccurate

thanks [livejournal.com profile] xerode... that link made my day
daf: (too fucking blonde)
this chump had a near miss from scooping a darwin award in quite spectacularly stupid style.


Aug. 1st, 2007 10:58 pm
daf: (quotes)
i keep getting friend requests from this person calling herself leatrice. [yeah, i know, what a trashy name]

i sent her this message last time, but she hasn't taken the hint.

you look familiar... maybe it's because you keep trying to friend me under different names but with the same stupid picture.

look, i don't like 20 yr old american models. they're vapid, uninteresting, moronic individuals at the best of times.

now, kindly take the hint and fuck off before i set my lawyer on you

it's because of this sort of thing i hardly ever use myspack.
daf: (quotes)
my bank like to make smug, self satisfied adverts portraying others as being profiteering soulless companies more concerned with their shareholders than "the man on the street"

they pride themselves on their customer service, which is odd, because the jumped up officious bank-monkey that served me would have trouble spelling customer service let alone displaying any.

twenty minutes they made me wait. twenty long minutes despite my bringing two forms of id [passport and student id card] and answering a serious of intrusive questions culminating in "why do you want the money?" to which my reply of, "i don't feel that is any business of the banks," resulted in her looking at me like i was drawing crude images on the bullet proof glass with my own faeces.

she also tried to order me a new card because "it might not work in the shops".

shatwest. you don't disappoint, do you?
daf: (Default)
if i had a pet, and i was some kind of moronic halfwit who's idea of a good saturday night is to stay in watching Matt Gallant's memorable presenting technique on the planet's funniest animals... then i might, and only might consider doing this to it for shits and giggles...

click for product info

but i'm sure i'd be lambasted as some kind of "huntingdon life sciences" inspired fanboy by the members of the all too easily incensed general public of this country, the bastion of animal rights activism...

still, it is only about £4. tempting.

75% done

Jan. 18th, 2007 03:02 pm
daf: (kryten)
just finished the 3rd exam.

here's a sample question for anyone feeling clever.

40. convert 1234 and 2345 to binary then AND the results.
what is the answer expressed in hexadecimal?

A) D1B
B) 28F
C) 12F0

September 2013

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