Dec. 11th, 2009 11:25 am
daf: (autonomous)
anyone know where i can get a [cheap] black bow tie from today?

preferably near stokey
daf: (ruckus)
so, work has me phoning charities recruiting CFOs and whatnot for a focus group being run by another charitable organisation...

whilst on hold to the good people at ASPIRE, rather than being subjected to a 120dB assault of greensleeves, as is, i believe, mandatory from such organisations, i got to listen to coldplay's "clocks" whilst a recorded message about the charity's services was played over the top of it.

anyways, and i probably shouldn't be sharing this with people, i found one part of their message so funny i that had to hang up & choke down my laughter so as not to get in to any trouble

"what made me laugh?" i hear you thinking...

"give you child a birthday to remember with a party at ASPIRE in the pool or sports hall"

this seemingly innocuous sentence conjured up images in my head of children mentally scarred for life, paralytically phobic of wheelchairs or armbands; unable to use public transport for fear of encountering one of the "wheeled monsters" after having been subjected by mum and dad to a birthday party at cripple central.

...ok, so i'm a bad person and i'm going to hell, but if any of you so much as chuckled at that then you're coming along with me.
daf: (ruckus)
Dear Student

Thank you for your form regarding the clash of your exams on
Wednesday 22nd July 2009.

I have made the following arrangements for you:

CT3014N - Wireless Networks - 22nd July 2009 at 10:00am

Please report to my office, room T2/4 in the Tower Building before your first exam. I will be escorting you to the room where you will be sitting your exam. It is VERY IMPORTANT that you follow these instructions.

You will be escorted to the Clash Room by an invigilator after your first exam where you will be able to revise for your next exam and have some lunch.

You will then be escorted to T6-20 at 2:00pm by an invigilator to sit your second exam:

CT2024N *PRACTICAL EXAM* - Local Area Networks - 22nd July 2009 at 2:00pm

After your second exam, you will be escorted back to the Clash Room by an invigilator where you will have a break before taking your next exam:

CT2024N - *EXAM & CHAPTER TEST* - Local Area Networks - 22nd July 2009 at 5:00pm

Please make sure you bring food and drink with you on the day as you
will not be able to leave the room except under the supervision of an

the last one being a 2 hour exam followed by 7 tests, lasting up to 1hour each!!!

wish me luck.
daf: (disco stu)
so messed up i had to film it.

the action man-type figure in her hand has had crow make-up put on it...almost like it's some kind of Heath Ledger / Brandon Lee voodoo doll.

after waving it side to side, she then starts stroking her face with the things hands..

and salutes the end of the song by holding the doll-of-wrong aloft almost as if she wants her little plastic pal to see the band soaking in the audience's adulation

daf: (ruckus)
we had what i presume was a fire drill at uni yesterday... the first we knew of it was our lecture being interrupted by someone informing us of the evacuation! most of the alarms in the main tower block did not work: i counted two1 audible bells on the 7 floors we descended!

were it not a drill we'd probably have sat there obliviously continuing with the lecture until we burnt to death!

but wait, it gets better, neither the security barriers nor the revolving doors2 [fitted at great expense to the uni] in the main entrance were opened! the resultant bottle neck in the lobby of students and staff took around 15 minutes to clear.

i really aught to have learnt to expect this sort of disorganised incompetence from them by now, but somehow it still came as a shock.

1: there are, iirc, 3 bells per floor

2: fancy ones where the fixed screens can swivel, opening the doors up so that people can exit quickly


Dec. 5th, 2008 12:43 pm
daf: (Default)
does anyone know how to fix problems the $Mft file on NTFS drives? one of my HDs has gone kaput and i really don't fancy trying to replace 1TB of music, films & tv :/

have tried chkdsk but it's useless, testdisk reports both the $Mft and its mirror are b0rked... and i'm at my wits' end
daf: (disco stu)
america: bigger, brasher and unrepentantly over the top... and things don't get much more ostentatious than our yanky brethren celebrating the baby jesus's birthday.

but dammit, you're just not doing it right! unless, like carson willams, you've gone to the extent of setting up your own radio station so that people can dial in as they drive by and freak out at the horror marvel at the wonder that is your festively synchronised light & sound show.

you don't need sound to gawp at the lunacy that is carson's christmas lights, but the man did set up his own fucking fm radio transmitter so as to avoid barraging his poor neighbours with non-stop music as well as grand mal inducing light pollution!

oh well, it's all fun and games until there's an accident and the emergency services can't respond due to the tailbacks caused by crazed holiday makers taking a road trip to see what $10,000 worth of christmas lights looks like.


Mar. 14th, 2008 10:35 am
daf: (autonomous)
coughed up blood this morning...

thankfully it was not much, and i haven't repeated the performance.

ouch ouch ouch
daf: (disco stu)
so, i returned from the impromptu excursion into the french alps on saturday a bruised and battered wreck of a man having spent the previous week trying not to die on&off the piste. there now follows my high/lowlights of the experience.

getting to geneva was fairly uneventful; the transfer [3 hours in a cramped minibus full of people & equipment] equally so.

day 1: we arrived in tignes after nightfall, so it wasn't until the morning i got to see how stunningly beautiful the surroundings were where we were staying. breakfast saw the creation of the ham-o-chocolat... mmmm ham-o-chocolat :)

snowboarding was slightly harder than i'd been anticipating, but with the lovely kasia's patient tutelage, i'd soon picked up the basics. so, i decided to join the group above the one i was meant to be in. a good move, i thought, especially given the amount i picked up in the first lesson [fakie, 180's & 360's etc].

day 2: i was totally unprepared for the joint & muscle ache i'd feel this morning which, as an unpleasant experience, was only outweighed by what was to happen on the mountain.

after about an hour of instruction, i was abandoned at the top of a mountain!

not having a piste map or phone on me [why would i need such things with an instructor present?] i tried desperately to get back to tignes. a task made ludicrously difficult by my poor french skills and ignorance as to the particular enclave of tignes we were staying in. i was told to take a bus, which i did only to discover it went to the wrong tignes!

getting off the bus i accosted a policeman and struggled to explain my predicament to him, he suggested i ask in a hotel which enabled me to find that tignes-les-brevieres, where we were staying was not served by the buses... i could get a bus part way there, but i'd have to hike/snowboard the remaining distance.

choosing the latter [the bitter cold gnawing at my appendages], i struggled through the ever darkening twilight down a very narrow and flat blue run, almost breaking my elbow in the process, and finally getting to the bottom of the village some 41/2 hours after being left to fend for myself.

as a result of this harrowing experience i'm sure i now have abandonment issues.

day 3: was too exhausted to keep up with my group as a result of my epic journey the day before, so i joined the group below me. probably a bad move, only got 1 piece of instruction in the whole lesson.

day 4: rest day. played a lot of playstation.

day 5: trip to val-d'isere. set off alone [but with phone & piste map this time - see i can learn] and promptly fell on the 1st run almost wrenching my right arm from it's socket causing some tendon damage. decided to plough on rather than return to the chalet.

the pain got worse and worse, til by the end i was slowly edging down slopes trying to keep my arm as still as possible.

i'd nearly made it to my destination when i fell again, cracking a rib :(

beer and painkillers helped me pass out that night.

day 6: after the worst night's sleep in a very long time, i was in too much pain to even contemplate snowboarding, choosing instead to lie on the sofa all day, only venturing out for drinks in the evening. and with only [livejournal.com profile] kitch_kash, [livejournal.com profile] drreagan & [livejournal.com profile] gauis_octavian for company it seemed fairly safe.

ended up staying out til all the money was gone... my last memory of the night was giving kasia a piggyback up the hill to our chalet.

day 7: came to on the sofa, stumbled around to gather my stuff in time for the transfer's departure and just about managed to crawl into the minibus. fell asleep on kasia, then the snowboards in the aisle, and woke at the airport to discover my passport was missing!

my abandonment issues began to kick in as the prospect of being left in switzerland began to coalesce before my very eyes.

fortunately it was in geordi's pocket - it appears i do some very strange things when drunk.

all in all, i had an excellent time and memories of holiday have me smiling to myself even now :)


Feb. 7th, 2008 06:56 pm
daf: (autonomous)
you know you're living with a goth vandal when they smash the tiles off your kitchen wall!

never knew [livejournal.com profile] lucifiction was so destructive
daf: (autonomous)
earlier today in my software engineering lecture

Dr. Peter Oriogun: "If you take what I say in the lecture as being correct, you will fail the exam."

should i be worried?
daf: (disco stu)
right, time for exam #3... i hope to christ it's open book.


Jul. 27th, 2007 01:25 am
daf: (quotes)
nearly died today.

the bike i've been borrowing from my good friend james literally tried to kill me.

i was riding along. at newington green i went over a speed hump and the metal of the dérailleur decided to absolve itself of any responsibility for maintaining basic structural rigidity and flung itself into my rear wheel like some kind of make shift grappling hook.

this stopped me almost instantaneously in what some hack from the local papers might have described as "yet another goth thwarted comically in pathetic suicide attempt" were there not so many stabbings, rapes and burglaries in the area.

the cars behind me shrieked to a halt and i picked myself and the now unridable bicycle up off the tarmac and sheepishly got out of the road as fast as my little legs would carry me.

gonna have to take the offending machine to a bike shop to get ripped off tomorrow.

still, i haven't felt this alive in ages.
daf: (Default)
if i had a pet, and i was some kind of moronic halfwit who's idea of a good saturday night is to stay in watching Matt Gallant's memorable presenting technique on the planet's funniest animals... then i might, and only might consider doing this to it for shits and giggles...

click for product info

but i'm sure i'd be lambasted as some kind of "huntingdon life sciences" inspired fanboy by the members of the all too easily incensed general public of this country, the bastion of animal rights activism...

still, it is only about £4. tempting.


May. 26th, 2007 04:20 am
daf: (Default)
i broke my skates today,
and found that they were real.
i fell onto the ground,
but no pain did i feel.
yet they were getting old,
despite their timeless bling.
there replacements aren't yet sold,
i have to find the ideal thing.
daf: (Default)
this site, linked in the b3ta newsletter has me reaching for the mental floss.

i don't think it's safe for work.

oh, and then there's the poodle exercise video

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