daf: (quotes)
if you're looking for an example of understatement, the message tagged to the end of fast five is up there with "oliver reed enjoyed the occasional drink."

as you may have guessed, i watched the latest installment in the fast & the furious franchise last night...

mindless action from start to finish.

the director was obviously of the opinion that the choreographed coach crash to break out the gravel gargling vin diesel wasn't disregarding the laws of physics enough, the 100m plunge he and co star paul walker take into a lake after crashing a truck into a train sure as hell did.

but brazilian crime lords aren't the kind of guys you go up against without your pals so growly chops jets the gang in for assistance.

pursued by DSS bloodhound dwayne i-used-to-be-the-rock johnson, they opt for amassing a shit load of souped up sport cars and then attempt to pull off the kind of ridiculous scams the chuckle brothers would write off as too asinine.

unsurprisingly this approach doesn't work, so they throw more guns and vehicles into the melée until the whole shebang erupts into a ten minute car chase bank vault chase through the streets of rio.

the highlight of the film for me was this bit of banter when rock tries to arrest the crew midway through the film:

THE ROCK:    Your mistake is thinking you've got a God
                   damned choice boy!!

VIN DIESEL:  Your mistake: thinking you're in America.
                   You're a long way from home.
                   THIS... IS... BRAZIL!

utterly brilliant!
daf: (quotes)
ADDRESS: Marsham Street 2. SW1P 4DF. London. United Kingdom
Email: interpolagent@yahoo.cn

I am Mr Ronald K. Noble, The Interpol Director; After proper investigations, we discovered that your impending payment that have been withheld by imposters, claiming to be Joseph Roland Djotie, Professor Charles Soludo (Governor of the Central bank of Nigeria), Mr. Patrick Aziza, Keneth Ogini, RICK EDO WESTERN UNION OFFICE BENIN REPUBLIC Joel Mathew FedEx Benin, Mr. Frank Nweke, None existing officials of the Oceanic Bank of Nigeria and Zenith Bank, UK winning Lottery, Andy Lear of Hsbc bank, Coca-Cola winning lottery and among a list of others is now under our custody with the help of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Local Police Force.

Investigations revealed that you have spent a lot on your personal earned money just to conclude the successful transfer of your funds to your nominated bank account by obtaining transfer documents as requested by the imposters, costing you a lot of money but all to no avail.

The Interpol had to send some financial crime investigators from our head quarters in United Kingdom to Africa in other to carry out proper investigation, after receiving series of other reports similar to yours as you are not the only person awaiting the legal transfer of funds from Africa. The Interpol has given authority to the International Monetary Funds (IMF) to assist the Federal Ministry of Finance and all the organization involved; such as the Central Bank, Zenith Bank, and Legit lottery organizations to immediately commence with the compensation of all the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of their funds.

With the help of some of the best Internet investigators attached to the FBI, we traced your information from the Internet as one of the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of his funds. I am pleased to inform you that a meeting was held as regards the best way to carry out with the compensation exercise for transparency and most especially to avoid re-occurrence of the delay in getting your funds and the high cost of procuring transfer documents and came to a final conclusion as all head of organizations involved was duly represented.

After the meeting conclusion, a sum of $6.5Million United States Dollars was approved for release to you, and since alot of this corruption has been coming from Africa and London, we have decided to move the compensation payment office to Malaysia, meanwhile you will be receiving your funds from Malaysia. The funds was approved to be issued to you as a ATM MasterCard, because we have calculated the stress in allowing you to claim the funds by BANK TO BANK WIRE TRANSFER, so instead of the bank transferring the funds to your account direct, we have advised the bank to open an ATM account for you and you will be issued a ATM MasterCard for the withdrawal of your funds daily from any nearest ATM Machine to you.

The ATM account has been credited with the approved Six Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars, And your daily withdrawal with the ATM MasterCard from any ATM Machine is $25,000.00USD per day but you can only withdraw $1000 per transaction but you have the privilege to make withdrawal twenty five times a day which make it equivalent of $25,000USD per day, the daily withdrawal has been programmed.The ATM MasterCard has been packaged to be delivered to your door step via express courier delivery service.

Contact Agent Hilary M. Kieffer {Our Interpol ATM Rep.} at the ATM PAYMENT CENTER and reconfirm your delivery information as stated below and your security code with five digit (88808) number has to be submitted alongside with your delivery information for security reasons.

==========CONTACT INFORMATION===========
AGENT NAME: Mr. Hilary M. Kieffer
EMAIL: interpolagent@yahoo.cn
==========CONTACT INFORMATION===========

We also be advise that you have to stop further communications with these imposters and forward any correspondence / proposal you receive from them to Agent Hilary M. Kieffer in other for the FBI to bring justice to those still at large.

Looking forward to hear from you as soon as you receive this message.

Best Regards,
Mr Ronald K. Noble
From United Kingdom Interpol Headquaters

sorry for the lengthy post, but whoever wrote this is clearly a genius!
daf: (dj)
saw these guys on my way to work this morning...

apparently VW have turned to the darkside
daf: (Default)
so, you're probably familiar with randall munroe's recurring character zombie marie curie, but i'm betting you didn't know that there's a real life (or should that be death) feminist icon back from the dead doing good deeds!

ladies and gentlemen, i bring you zombie anita roddick
daf: (quotes)
there's a high powered business meeting taking place in the office today.. am trying my best to look busy - but i keep getting distracted by stuff like this:

how can i be expected to work when there's stuff like that happening in the outside world?

oh, and happy lupus day people.
daf: (dj)
big props go to [livejournal.com profile] cooljohn for introducing me to this beauty...

watch it, watch it NOW!


Apr. 21st, 2011 04:57 pm
daf: (disco stu)
for enigmatic marine biologist, John Watson, discovering detailed directions on a set of toothpicks was the event that opened his eyes to the sorry state of society; so much so he took it upon himself to construct an asylum for the world - to put it in to hopefully get better.

my moment happened yesterday evening quite literally upon my arrival home from work... what did i find lying in wait for me on the floor? loitering like some malevolent madness-mine primed, patiently passing the time 'til it could spring its attack.

an easter card! seriously, it was a mass produced greetings card for easter... WTF?!

what's next eh, hallmark? summer solstice presents?!

how the fuck are people suggestible and pliant enough for greetings cards companies to try to prop up there business through the lean part of the year by inventing the custom of sending fucking cards for easter?

i think i should probably stop thinking about this before i pop. the world is mad.
daf: (disco stu)
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY [livejournal.com profile] alterred & [livejournal.com profile] vixvain

... and may there be many more to follow
daf: (disco stu)
This music video is beyond awesome... God only knows what the Thai authorities put in the water, but it's efficacious to say the least! That or the whole nation is just plain batshit crazy

i implore you: wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you need to stop it right now and watch this music video.

now, i can't guarantee that it'll change your lives, but i can assure you, you'll never look at thailand in the same way again!



Mar. 8th, 2011 09:29 pm
daf: (ruckus)
was toying with the idea of giving up sleep for lent...

...only toying, mind
daf: (disco stu)
decided last night that i'd left the big one flat-packed in its boxes in my hallway for long enough and cleared enough space in my room to have a go at assembling it...

now, normally this is the sort of activity best* done with katie, but given that the thing is taller and heavier than i am it's probably a good job she's not about at the moment.

thankfully, one of my flatmates, bertrand, was in so i wouldn't have to attempt assembling it unaided, especially as the instructions were very insistent upon this... well, as insistent as wordless line drawings can be.

but, when it came to the point where assistance is almost essential, my french friend announced he was retiring for the evening and would help me the following evening [insert joke about the french and their fickle nature]

anyways, to cut a long story short, despite total lack of assistance, the bed is assembled now, nothing got broken now all that remains is solving the puzzle of how to fit my things into a room two thirds the size of my last - still, it'll keep me off the streets at least :)
daf: (quotes)
since moving to the new flat, i have been sleeping in the squatting style, ie a mattress on the floor.

all this is about to change though, as tomorrow my new bed should arrive from those swedish masters of modular - ikea.

it pleased me to learn that despite their product naming policy being mainly nonsense, my bed's name is "the big one"
daf: (disco stu)
i just got an email offering the availability of abi titmuss for dj sets...

and telling me to check out her website for more information
daf: (Default)
is 77944 cells [57c x 1597r] an unreasonable size for a spreadsheet?
daf: (quotes)
so, i arrived at work early again this morning... that's 3 days in a row! gonna have to be careful i don't give them the impression i'm reliable or something ;)

that said, there is a direct correlation between my lack of tardiness and my lack of sleep.

just wish i'd been partying last night instead of repeatedly failing to find anything resembling unconsciousness... still, on the bright side, i have a whole bunch of interesting new films to check out.

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